There was something funky in my studio on Monday morning. First I did not pay much attention as the heating was causing trouble and it was freezing inside. Then I came across a mysterious white roll and realised I had ordered a stage mat which arrived last Friday. I opened it and bejesus it smelled foul. Kind of a mixture of petroleum, waste oil, licorice, and cat piss.
No way I could take this on a black-tie streaming gig to cover some cables. This will overcome even the stuff that's coming out of the orifices of politicians present.
I threw it outside in -40C temperature for the day and thought that would take care of the smell. It did not. I threw it in the back of my van for 4 weeks and thought this surely would get rid of the odor.
Now my van stinks. No, it reeks. And I can't even wash the cargo space because the water will freeze immediately. I decided it was time for me and the rubbery mattress of miasma to part ways. We said our last foul farewells in the dead of night in a semi-legal dumpsite. Revving off in a snowstorm I gazed upon the back view mirror to see the mattress fading in yellow snow, turned the mirror in retrospect, and had an epiphany. This is what you always get when you buy cheap stuff without reading the reviews.
